Its been a while...

Well i guess its been a while since i have posted. I guess i should start off with, stephanie and i are doing great! I love this girl so much i think i would go crazy if i was without her. She gets me for some reason. I love her. God i love her.

Well anyway, i have been going to work, and doing school. School sucks. Im deff going to fail spanish, math i thought i was doing ok in, well i got a 63 on my last test, and in english i have a rough draft of a paper due on wed. What crap. I have been talking with stephanie about what to do and where to go after DT, we have decited to go to App. in the spring, next spring. Even if i dont do well in DT im still going. I hate it here. I wish to leave.

Well i dont hate here, i just hate DT. It sucks, its borring, and it always has that "kill me......kill me now!" look i get from it. I just want to leave Chapel Hill, leave this place to go find a new life. All my friends are here, i have a steady job with decent pay, better than most, and im pretty much doing ok mentally. But i suck at school. For me to get good grades i need to quit work, which actually i like doing. I love going to work. It makes me happy. But alas, i must take control of my studies. so i must leave work on to bigger things.

Well one more year of DT wont hurt will it? well who knows.

At least i have stephanie. I love her so much, if i didnt think it was too soon, and so many people telling me not to do it.......I would ask her to marry me. She is the one. Yes she has problems, i have problems, but i love her. I love her more than anything. She is "the one."

Well i guess i must start a paper, or do something constructive. Anyway im probably going to play some games on my computer.....too bad i have played them all... Oh well fallout 2 here i come!

I think she is the one......

Sam Barksdale is a good friend, and is really been there for me for some crazy times.

Here is our aim conversation, it should explain alot! Thanks for letting me use this sam!

Tim: fuck
Tim: fuck fuck fuck~
Sam: fuck?
Tim: !
Tim: fuck!
Sam: that's the last thing I'd expect from you
Tim: she is catholic
Sam: so
Tim: ...
Sam: I'm catholic
Tim: her mom told her not to hold my hand
Tim: she siad
Tim: just keep hands to self
Tim: ....i kind of left a
Tim: ....small
Tim: hicky
Tim: on her...
Sam: YOU FUCKING STUD
Tim: it looks like a miskito bite
Tim: i sware!
Tim: i hope it doesnt go farther
Tim: dude
Tim: there is more
Tim: do you believe that love at first sight thing
Sam: well, what you guy's do in your privacy is your business, just act calm and casual around the parents
Sam: Absolutely
Tim: wel
Tim: so do we
Tim: and
Sam: I had it with Ashley:-D
Tim: oh my god
Tim: we
Tim: kind of
Tim: i dont know
Tim: we
Tim: said it
Sam: yeah, you know
Tim: kind of
Tim: but without the l
Tim: L
Tim: word
Sam: I gotcha
Tim: adn
Tim: we are swaring off doing ANYTHING
Tim: we dont want to ruin this
Sam: I'm proud of you man, that's really awesome. It shows you have a lot of respect for her
Tim: we really really really really like each other
Tim: i mean
Tim: tonight
Tim: we were on her couch upstairs
Tim: in the rec room
Tim: and
Tim: we fell asleep together
Tim: nothing happened
Tim: and it was THE happiest moments i have ever had
Tim: one of the *
Sam: that's straight man. You know, the best relationships are the one's you put the most feeling into, this might be a crucial one
Tim: we dont want it to end
Tim: its
Tim: amazing!
Sam: well hell man, you two are in control now, maybe it never will
Tim: yeah
Tim: dude
Tim: its just
Tim: i said i
Tim: i said i would never ever like to look at another girl again
Tim: i wouldnt care
Tim: dude
Tim: i dont know where this shit is comming from
Tim: its something so deep
Tim: its
Tim: dude, i have dated her a week
Tim: and we are ready to say, well, it!
Sam: nothing wrong with that
Sam: I swore to myself I'd never date again either, but sometimes, things come along that you can't help
Tim: yeah...
Tim: i really dont want this to end
Sam: it's up to the both of you know, it's kind of out of everybody else's hands
Tim: im totally not wanting to ruin this
Tim: i dont want to kiss her, i dont want to touch her
Tim: if it means not being able to be with her
Sam: Don't worry about that, just do what's natural. You know how to act like a gentleman, and make a woman feel special
Sam: hell, you give me some of the best advice I've ever heard, so I know you know what your talking about
Tim: thanks
Tim: that means alot
Tim: ....
Tim: i was wondering
Tim: could i post this conversation on my blog?
Sam: go for it
Tim: ok
Tim: well here was my night
Tim: day
Tim: whatever
Tim: anyway
Tim: it started with work, she said that she would stop by for lunch
Tim: she came by at 1:00
Tim: left at 5:15
Tim: we kissed for the first time
Tim: durring that
Tim: it was wonderful
Tim: we talked most of the time
Tim: making jokes, laughing
Sam: sounds good
Tim: me helping customers, or doing some sort of work
Tim: it was great to have her there, or i would not have had anything to do
Tim: it would have sucks
Tim: sucked
Tim: i was alone because my partner did her work, and i said she could go home
Tim: anyway
Tim: then we decited to go to the movies afterwards with christy, mike (my bro) and taku
Tim: all co-workers
Tim: peter, christy's b/f also came along
Tim: it was cool
Sam: that is
Tim: i always liked him better than her husband
Tim: (you heard me)
Tim: they loved stephane
Tim: fuck
Tim: wait
Tim: nevermind
Sam: haha, ok
Tim: thought i spelled it wrong, or maybe i did
Tim: she spells it
Tim: hang on
Tim: no thats right
Tim: sorry its like 1:15
Tim: and i have been up since 7am
Tim: anyway
Tim: she was wonderful
Tim: well we first walked around southpoint for a while
Tim: i bought a new CD, and we had fun
Tim: then we watched the movie
Tim: just like heaven
Tim: it was cheezy as hell
Tim: but ok
Sam: good date movie, I bet
Tim: i held her the whole time
Tim: loved every minute of it
Tim: mike and taku and christy making dumb comments the whole times
Tim: but the kicker was in the parking lot
Sam: of course
Tim: on the way to the movie,
Tim: i looked into her eyes, and i knew, i was lost forever with her
Tim: i told her
Tim: in the best way i could think of
Tim: that i was falling for her
Tim: starting to fall for her
Tim: she looked into my eyes, and said, "i know i already am"
Tim: then
Tim: after the movie
Tim: i said, i was wrong
Sam: wow
Tim: im not starting to fall for her
Tim: i already have
Tim: she said she did too
Tim: we also had a conversation that it was wierd, but totally true that we were
Tim: but i told her, not to say....you know
Tim: ....it
Tim: i told her, that i would just like to not ruin it
Tim: she was fine with that.
Tim: after the movie
Tim: i said good bye to the numb nuts that were annoying me
Tim: and we went to her house
Sam: lol, good idea about the good-bye
Tim: i saw her bro again, he is cool, and we went up stairs, and she started to fall asleep with her head resting on my lab
Tim: lap*
Tim: i smiled
Sam: I bet
Tim: and then laid down next to her
Tim: we fell asleep in each others arms
Tim: .....i love kissing her
Tim: i love holding her even more
Tim: she was so beautiful
Tim: i then had to go
Tim: it was 12
Tim: and she has to wake up at 6
Tim: it took a while, but i got up
Tim: then
Tim: i looked in horror, and saw that i left a small mark
Tim: she was like "haha, yeah right..."
Tim: then she saw my face and said "your kidding right"
Tim: "im soo sorry, it doesnt look that bad
Tim: "
Tim: i said
Tim: she looked horrafied
Tim: she ran to the mirror
Tim: and i felt such shame
Tim: i felt horrable
Tim: she is now going to get yelled at by her mom
Tim: her mom wont trust me
Tim: and i dont know
Tim: this shit is crazy
Sam: it'll be alright
Tim: yeah she said that like a million times
Tim: while rubbing her neck
Tim: i told her it looks like a bug bite
Tim: but who knows
Tim: then
Tim: we went to the door, and she said, and i agreeded
Sam: I know how to get rid of it
Tim: agreed
Tim: how?
Tim: how the hell?
Tim: ice?
Sam: Tell her to get two washclothes, and soak both in water, put one in the microwave, and get it hot, and put ice-cubes in the other. Put the hot one on for a minute, then switch
Tim: cool
Tim: well
Sam: after your finished, I'll tell you why I know that
Tim: im kind of out of contact
Tim: ok
Tim: um
Tim: so
Tim: she said that the next time i kiss her, its kind of an inside thing, but she picks when the next kiss is, and also, will totally smack me when i try the neck again
Tim: i was totally like, please for the love of god, do so
Tim: also while laying there
Tim: we agreed that she would please stop me from ruining what we have, if i get too......frisky
Tim: which i wasnt doing anything bad
Tim: but the kisses needed to end
Tim: ......she is so sweet
Tim: anyway
Sam: that's real good
Tim: so she said she would call me
Tim: at like 8-9 tomarrow to tell me how church went, and whether im dead or not, well whether she is dead, and im banned
Tim: but she said that it would be ok
Tim: and nothing to worry about
Tim: who knows
Tim: then i left, and called henry, because he kept bugging me durring my wonderful nap.....:-D
Tim: and the fucker said he was just about to walk into some girls dorm
Tim: i think he got some play
Tim: but i dont know
Tim: damn....
Tim: who knows
Tim: im probably wrong
Tim: knowing henry
Tim: who knows
Tim: ok
Tim: im done

Sam: excuse me if I step out of line in saying this
Tim: ok
Sam: but do you think this might be it?
Tim: what?
Tim: you mean
Tim: do i think that this girl is THE ONE?
Tim: yes
Tim: yes i do
Tim: right now
Tim: i cant help it
Tim: i really do
Tim: !
Sam: I'm happy for you man, I hope you keep this magic, I've never seen anyone so animated about anything in my life
Tim: thats a good thing i know, but please oh my god
Tim: please
Tim: if i wish for nothing more, it would be to be with her for a long long long time
Tim: she is just
Tim: wonderful



And this is the end of that, i have changed absolutely nothing but the names, i dont want someone to bug me who shouldnt.

This is also how i feel about this girl. I truely think that she is the one. I have had this conversation at 1:00 on the night of saturday the 18.

Im not going to ruin this, i hope i havent, i feel horrable about what happened. I mean i feel so utterly bad, that i cant stand it. But the day is great. I ........like.....her soooo much. That i cant stand being away from her. Its taking over my mind.

Leave a comment if you like. If you are this girl i am talking about......

You already knew all of this.....

Re-cap of the Week, part 1: The good girl.

Ok, so i guess i should start on wed. of last week, before the three day weekend:
Well i met this girl, i thought she was cute, in math class. There was this party thing happening at DT. It was this big thing outside with pizza, and some poor guy trying to get people to hula-hoop. Well i got some pizza, and sat down, looking at the stupid people. I was away from like, everyone. I was on this wall chillin. About to maybe go chill somewhere. Well this girl came up to me. We started talking about how our teacher abreaviates everything. (He does it with everything, he makes percentile: %ile) Well it was really nice talking to her, and i got less interested in my soda and pizza and more into her. I got up and said, "well i need to study, wanna come with?" i was hopeing with all hope that i wouldnt get rejected. She said yes. I thought wow! damn..... haha, well entered the libary and we made it down the stairs. We found the couches there and thought that we would try that. She took one and i took one. We started talking, and i opened my bag, i just bought a new calculator, it was $90! (graphing calculator) We started talking while i tried with all my might to get the calculator out of its plastic prision.

She then said that her friend would join us. I was like, um..ok sure. I really didnt care. She told me his name was Justin, and he was in my next spanish class. I was like, "hmm, justin? Does he have blonde hair?" Thinking of one of the three Justins in my next class, the one i thought of was the prep. I thought he was a douche, kind of didnt really like the fact that she would hang out with him. But i decited that, well why not...he cant be all that bad.

It wasnt the right Justin. It was the cool one that sat behind me. He looked russian, and a bad ass, but he also had on a cowboy bebop shirt, which meant that he was a little geeky, which i thought would be a cool combo. He is also a pro-fighter. And im serious when i say, he has two black belts, and goes to Fighting championships, and wins fights. He is only 19, and looks exactly like my bro mike. He has a cool tattoo on his arm with japanize figures on it. I forget what they say, but they are done in a way that is like, if you can picture it, the words done in two columns, very cool.

It is safe to say that this is the craziest guy i have ever met on the face of this world.

He is totally down to earth, but the shit he does, fighting, getting drunk and making his "alarm-clock" by putting the first person to pass out, in the closet and locking the door. So he wakes the whole house by screaming, not knowing where he is. (probably the funniest things i have heard in a long long time) He also loves Adult Swim which comes on Cartoon Network at like 11 at night, with the funniest and most random shit you can think of on the face of this earth. We spent a long long time talking there, 2 hours, it was awesome. Then we left and went to spanish, Stephane had French at 2 o'clock, when we had spanish at 1:30. I said good bye, and we joked around in class for the next hour or so, then when we got out, we had to go to spanish lab. Interestingly enough, Stephene gets out of the lab we go into, the exact time we go into it. She has french lab, then french. So we get to see her. We said hi, did a quick joke, and left to go inside. I joked around again, and thought to myself, wow, that was cool on the way home after another hour of jokes with my new friend Justin.

Well, on wed. (I have math on Mon. and Wed.) I saw her again, i was about to go to my regular seat, but then saw that one was open next to her. I sat down and said "I thought i should sit up front with the smart people!" She stated: "well dont i feel special!" I said "You should, im pimp like that" and made a big joke out of it, she laughed and then i joked around in class, but was still able to get in all the notes. It was nice.

Well henry called me during class, luckly i had it on silent. He did it twice! As i left class, i walked down the hallway with Stephane with me, called henry, made a big joke to him calling me, and joked around with him. We then proceded outside, i saw henry, and introduced them, she made a joke out of that, i was like...um ok...but it was alright. We then decited that we would go to Fosters, she didnt know what Fosters was, or where it was, but i told her it was cool. She said ok, but she needed to wait for Justin, for some reason she really wants to see him all the time. (I will explain why i dont think its for dating, well its not for him anyway) Anyway, we got justin, and introduced him to henry. He was kind of blown away by justin, he was talking to another classmate i know about training him in fighting. Well i told justin we were getting some lunch, then we headed to fosters in my car, henry had class early, so he took his own.

We made it to fosters, had a great time! It was so much fun! I mean justin was the life of the party though, he really was. His jokes were killing me. Stephane started to get embarrassed. Henry left to go to class, and we made fun of other people around us for a while. Another hour flew by, and we were just having so much fun. Then we left and we made a trip back to DT. But not before i got her number, I got Stephane's number! It was awesome! I did it in such a way that it didnt look bad either! I let them listen to contact rejected. Its... Well do this, call this number and listen, its quite funny, i got it from henry: 202-452-7468.

We went to the lounge in phillips. Its just vending machines and couches, with tables and chairs. Well i saw Gilson, and Beth, two girls in my spanish class. They were having problems with a homework assignment. It was to read this essay, and make a title, in one sentence, for each paragraph. There were 3 paragraphs. Well i read and translated them in under a minute each. This was after they told me we had a test that day, and i was like "What?!" I really didnt know. They called me dumb, but then i translated the essay in like 4 minutes, saying exactly what they were about, after they had been trying to translate it for the past 5 and were on the 6th sentence in the first paragraphs. They looked at me stunned after writing the answers, and said: "What the hell was that?" I was like, "oh please, you think i will actually do bad on this test?" They were like, "well, damn." Stunned they were just happy to finally get done with the homework, just in time for class. I didnt do the homework, in fact i needed to, but whatever. Anyway i looked over my sholder to see none other than Stephane looking at me with a slight smile on her face. I sware i saw her turn a blush, she was with a French classmate doing french stuff. But i saw that. I sware.

She is really cute, henry thinks so as well.....

So we went to Spanish, and i totally failed the test. The front was easy as hell! But the back i totally failed. And Lucky for me, so did the entire class and the teacher said "look if you all think you failed, and it seems that you did just by glancing at them, i wont waste my time grading these, re-test is monday, i suggest you study." Have i studied? no... I should...

Anyway, Justin and i joked in class again, it was fun. We were laughing so much, that the teacher actually looked at us strangly. It was fun. We also saw her on the way into lab, and she blushed, and just walked by. I made a rather loud comment to Justin, protesting the fact that we just got dissed, and she said in her defence, "well you were so proud of embarrassing me at lunch!" I said im sorry, Justin said he wasnt, then i thought for a second very dratamaticly, and then said, "yeah well, no i guess im not then....think we should do it again?" i said to justin. He laughed, she smiled and walked away before trouble started.

Wel thats the part about Stephane, she is a good, cute, quiet girl. Justin said he dated her, but she was too quiet, and was into the "crazy chicks." Most of you know me, and im into the quiet, and nice type. The rough kind has been harsh in the past.

I think she is cute, i just would like some reason to call her up. Well i will see her tomarrow. So hopefully i will think of something.

Please leave a comment! Advice is helpful!

Comming soon, Part 2: the bad girl.....

so sorry, no post

I know i promised to talk about my date, but i will do that tomarrow, im tired right now, please forgive me! I will comment later...bye

I have work from 7-5:30 tomarrow, long long day

"I've Had a Bad Day Again"

"Ive had a bad day again, she said i would not understand, she left a note that said: im sorry ive, had a bad day again...."

This song had been on repeat for the last half hour. Its by fuel. I play it when i feel that i need a break, its something that i listen to when im down. I have never gotten sick of it yet. Its something that calms me. When i listen to this, i can write for hours on end.

Ever since i have read the harry potter books, they have become something unlike anything that has ever incased my mind. I cant go more than an hour without thinking about it. And its starting to over do my life. I have day dreams, night dreams, and everything inbetween. Its when you see me smile for no reason. Its the only thing that makes me smile now adays. Its the one dream i keep having, and adding on to. It starts at the biggining, works its way to the end, then somehow expands beyond all that can possiblely be imagined.

I have a short story, a fan fic. I know its dumb. But there is a web site that has like, 3000+ fan fics. Anyway, right now im in a mood that i just feel like crap. And my day dreams have started to take over any feeling i have for anything else. I havent watched tv for more than 30 minutes this week, except for the movies i watched durring the weekend. My life is exactly unlike my day dreams. Is something that i will try to explain.

Im a warrior, im popular, loved, and have a relationship with someone. This someone is someone close to me now, but she knows i love her, but i dont dare go beyond that explination.

I feel alone now, the only way out of this is my dreams. Its something that i have been going at for like 2 weeks now. It happens at work, durring school, driving around town, staying at home, sleeping at night. every part of me is wanting to be this person in my dreams. Noble, kind......happy.

I have 3 friends right now. Three. One i love and talk to every week, but never see. One i talk to every day, but never see. And one that i never talk to, never see, but happen to be my best friend. I have made no effort to see anyone i would consider my friend. Sometimes i look upon myself. And question if i should even try anymore.

I hate my school. I feel that Durham Tech is for the stupid, the poor, the ghetto, or the people with nothing else to do. I fit into that last one. if i could, i would excape from this horrable place. Go to any college i could. I dont care where anymore. I just want out. My grades have reflected how i feel in this world. My job, that i care more about than certan people that i love. Its lost its appeal for the first time in my life. I went into the plant, and what i saw was horrable. The utter chaos that was what had been my life, it made me sick. Things that cost my parents thousands of dollars, things that if any monkey were taught, it would do a better job.

I finally felt to night that im on the right track to the success of it again.

Today, though, i got yelled at by a customer, over the phone. He had an argument that if a stain was not taken out, then he should not have to pay for the services. I felt like if he were there in front of me, then i would have smacked him. He kept arguing. He had no case, we did the job, we were in the right, i know we were. We did his shit 3 times, some stains just cant come out. I told him that if he really wanted it out, to fill out a form, or things like that. I never lost my cool. I stayed on topic, i talked into the phone, and then, when i was done talking to him. He passed the phone over to the employee that was working at the store. That dumb tramp fucking handed the customer the phone to scream at my dad. And the fucker yelled at me instead. Then i lost it. I said in a clear, but calm, angry voice, "never, ever do that to me, again!" and slamed the phone down. then i yelled at the staff to never do that either. I calmed down by the end of it. and no one was pissed, or frightened. No one really cared either. but boris, who is one of the people i think can have hope for this place. He told me to go out and chill. That fucker paid to get his dress, after yelling at her for a while. We did the service. He was actually willing to leave without paying.

Some people you just cant help, they suck at life, and they always take it out on others.

I saw a friend that i havent seen in forever today. Its been like months since i have seen her. At first i thought she wanted to fuck me, it was quite odd, actually. but no, she wanted someone to rant to, for a good while. like an hour. I tried to see a way into her, into her mind, something to see what she wanted of me. I havent seen her in the longest time, but she hugged me when we left the resturant. Her hug was something that i havent had in a long long while. It was a hug like when you need it. When you squese, when you hang on. When feeling goes into it. It felt good to hug her, it felt like something i have been missing. I feel that my life is going down hill. Its been so long since i have seen anyone look at me. Actually LOOK at me. Its hard to discribe. no one likes to look into someones eyes anymore.

"Did you know you could have whole conversations with someone, without even talking, just by looking into their eyes." -Myself

I said this without meaning once. Without actually thinking it through. But a while ago, i met someone. Even though it was a short time i had with this person, before they left, i felt that that statement came into reality. It was something to sit there and just stare at her. All we did was look at each other. And yet a whole lifetime passed. I reflected this in my mind the other day. Sitting out on my back yard. Looking at the trees. I knew that i was happy. I couldnt help but smile.

Did you know you draw more attention to yourself if you smiling, than if your not. I have seen this happen to me more times than you would think. Its interesting. I would smile because it make me feel good in my own little world. If you ever catch me smiling at nothing, do me a favor. Shut up. Let me enjoy it. Its one of the few times that i would ever have my mood reflect what im thinking. Its my life, it sucks, but why do people ask? I understand why, they want to smile. "Think happy thoughts" is a true moto of what to do. Smile, it makes happyness that much easier to gain. I never thought that i would ever express myself in writing. But look at me now.

I mean i thought that i would read, once, maybe a good book. Something to pass the time inbetween movie one, tv two, and the videogames a-many. After harry potter, i find myself trapt in the fan fiction that is www.mugglenet.com. Its something i never thought of doing. Its something that anyone would look upon and just go, "wow, thats creepy." But it brings me the little joy i have in my life.

I wish someone would come to rescue me. Someone lovely, smart, and kind. Someone who would stop saying "you would be the perfect boyfriend" and actually get on with it. Does anyone really have any idea how many times people come up to me and ask why im single? I dont fucking know! I am starting to not understand it myself. Its like got is playing a trick on me! Sometimes, i catch myself looking around my room, and wondering what went wrong. I look at my room and ask why am i here? i have given up on finding "the one" i have no set of tricks up my sleve. I have no way of thinking about what im doing here. I feel that my life is starting to become a sham. Im starting to be something.....something that im not. I dont know what to expect of this world. i dont know what to expect of this life. All i know is that, if i dont get out of this town, this house, maybe this country. I dont know what im going to do.

I havent made a new friend in such a long time. There are co-workers, peers at school, and things along those lines. But what im looking for is a new group. Someone new to hang out with. All of my friends are gone. Mike is my only friend that i have interaction with. Sure he is my brother, but i feel that he will leave me soon as well. He wants to join the army so bad. I think he could truely make it. He has the power to do so. But i worry about him sometimes. He has more of a goal than me. He knows what he wants to do with his life. Now i know what your thinking, "He is only 17, he has no idea what he wants to do." But he actually does, he knows, KNOWS what he wants to do. Its with such determination that i just am afraid sometimes. When will i get that. I dont want a 9-5 job, but im headed down that path. Im headed down the path of not knowing what to do with my life. I would love to just escape. I would love to have my mind on something else. Something powerful, get away, leave, just be gone.

The worst thing that would happen to me right now, would be....


It would be to be alone. To be utterly alone. I look for the love in my life. I cant find it, but i will one day.


If you have taken the time to read this, do me a favor. One of the biggest ones in the entire world. Never talk to me about what i write here. Dont even mention that you know that i have a blog. It would kill me. Just read, and dont mention a thing. Its something for me. Its my rant. Just dont write in your own, dont look at me differently. Do try to set me up with someone, lol, but dont feel bad for me. I have my dreams, they make me happy. I smile at the thought of them. I think that for once, the first time, i will actually do my homework. I will get started on getting out of here. I leave this blog, my statement of life, with a smile on my face. my smile that i feel is enough, its hope, its the love of many people, some real, some really special. but the ones that care, they are the ones that i stay in contact with. They are the ones in my dreams.

"Ive had a bad day again, she said i would not understand, she left a note that said: im sorry ive, have a bad day again. " -Fuel

GTA: The Special Porno Edition

This was just so crazy that i had to post something about it. I know i havent posted about my life sence the party, and alot has happened, but this is just too crazy.

What happened is there is this actual secret level in GTA where you actually play a mini game where you have sex. They made it so that it wasnt possible to actually play it, but they left it in there. Which means, "you cant play, but we're lazy and dont want to delete it entirely." So this guy made a hack, where you can access it. Its a down load off the internet. There is a way, through the lan, that will let you play "Hot Coffee" at a girl friends house, on the Xbox, PS2, or on your home PC. Everyone was so pissed off at this, that now instead of GTA being rated "M" or "R" in movie standards, its rated "AO" which is "NC-17" in movie standards. So GTA is now the same as a porno on Cable! After looking around, and seeing all the points of view, because more than anything i hate to hear one side of a story. I always look at both sides. I have even done it with 9/11 but im not going into that now. I have come to a conclusion. I sight www.penny-arcade.com for this bit of information. I think that they should be forced to change their rating. They had it in there. There are standards, though they could use some re-defining, they are set. This is a part of the original code to the game, and it appears on all three systems, not just PC, where it in reality wouldnt mean a damn thing. The fact that its on the Xbox, and the PS2 really truely means something. They were dumb enough to screw around and try some half-assed attempt to hide it, when they should have just gotten rid of it in the first place, is the main reason i would be mad. Dont get me wrong. I actually dont give a shit what they do. If its in the game i would love to play it. I hear its actually quite interesting, and fun/funny. But the fact that its there, and they hid it. Thats what kills everyone. If they just had it part of the game, they ESRB might have let it slide, like they do with loads of other things. But the fact that they hid it from them......

So i leave you with this story, and the one from penny-arcade. Many others have commented on it, and i asure you its a real part of the game, haha what fun. http://xbox.ign.com/articles/635/635261p1.html

Enjoy, and if anyone knows where to get the patch, please leave a comment!

My Birthday Party

Well it started out as a party of 50, then after long "talks" with my dad, it went to 30. 20 showed up. The people that did show up, i thank you. It was truely a great time. Those who couldnt (for the exception of Rie) can just kiss my ass. (just kidding)

Well it started out with me going over to the plant to get mike some lunch. When i showed up, he was no where to be found. Then Derrick (the new guy, he is truely cool) told me he was out back, so i was like, "damn it mike! quit smoking!" so i walked out back to yell at him. As i turn the corner who do i see but my long time friend Kyle Mcvoy. Wow its really him! its been literally a year since i saw him. I have known this kid since the 4th grade! I go "holy shit! holy shit! HOLY SHIT" he stands there and laughs. He hitchhiked the whole way from idaho. Escaped the "school" he went to up there. I am just listening to his stories, and wow. Anyway we spend the whole day together, we go shopping for the party and then play some GTA. The party itself took some time to put together but was actually alot more fun than i thought it would have been. Thanks to the Jack Daniels that Ms. Christie Daniels (no joke) got me, we kept the party a little alive.

Alot of people came, the most standout-ish were henry, cat, my, sebrina, bree, jessi, and anita. Kyle and mike of course were on hand. Simon and Conrad were jackasses and waited till like 11-ish to come out and chill with us. They were watching some french flick. Sam Barksdale made it out. Which was really cool of him, esp. sence he just got off work. Virginia came just after Heather and Victoria. Heather brought some play guy, which he was cool and not some tool. So i was fine with that. Taku and torry brought some underage jailbate. I really didnt like them there. It actually was kind of annoying.

The basic shit what went on there was general discussion. Messing with the fire that was in the middle. Victoria bitching about henry. Im sorry she loves him, but i really didnt care. I know that sounds bad, but i didnt. In fact it kind of pissed me off with her mellow attitude. But what ever. I really liked seeing her anyway. Virginia and Victoria played with my brother, who liked to say horrable things once they were gone. He pissed me off so i just sat there and told them what he said. Sam agreed, it was the right thing to do. Fucking prick. Then after a small trip to a cop invested lake, we chilled at my house again. then after a while we went inside.

Henry, Catherine, and My got me the coolest most thoughtful gift ever. Speakers for my car. Its just that i said something, and never realized that i really wanted them. They got me instilaziation too.

Now that i think about it, they were the only ones who got me a present. but i dont care. I wanted fun. thats what i got.

Catherine My and i played on my bed. (hehe) then i mixed that with watching halo, flirting with jessie and anita, trying to make victoria feel better and talking to virginia. All this in 2 rooms. Then i also went outside and chilled with sam and Bree for some part of it.

I also made out with someone at the party. Not saying who. But it was the first time ever, and it was actually really good. That and i just had to have her. She said she didnt want to do anything because of her man. But i would still like to.....god....

Anyway...

After everyone left, but conrad and bree. Kyle mike and i smoked the cigars we got. They were cool. Dad called me from in the house, it was 4 am. He told me to tell everyone to go home. So bree and conrad left and kyle mike and i got some waffel house. that food was good!


Also earlyer on in the day, my dad said that kyle could live with us, as long as he wanted to. I think kyle has gotten better. He use to be the biggest drug dealer i knew. But after rehab, he is better. I think he will do fine now. He and his dad are having problems. but i think he will be fine.

That was my day on saturday to sunday. It was fun, and crazy!